PMQs: Handbags and put-downs

Cross-posted from Liberal Democrat Voice

It’s funny how a simple statement of congratulations on a planned wedding can’t be accepted in the Commons without a “handbag moment” (see Reeves/Mortimer) dredging up twenty year-old events. Ed Miliband thanked David Cameron for his congratulations adding “I might have to come to him in the next couple of months for advice, because I know that he knows how to organise memorable stag nights.” Ooooh!

Handbags having been safely stowed, Ed Miliband raised the matter of the stampede of British universities to join the “£9,000 club”. Cameron replied that the Office for Fair Access will decide on which universities can charge £9,000 a year. He also neatly side-stepped Miliband’s charge that the stampede could mean further cuts in the government’s funding to universities.

We then returned to a subject previously aired at Prime Minister’s Questions: when is a plod a “frontline” plod? Answer: there’s a team of experts working on that one. However, Cameron introduced a new googly into the debate on this subject: “According to Home Office statistics, if all forces achieve the current best average for visibility and availability, it would increase the number of officers available by 8,000.” Wooo!

“Two thousand police officers are being forced out under the A19 rules” rebutted Miliband. You could hear a “whoosh” as this subject flew well over the top of most people’s heads.

Miliband ended with “we proposed 12% cuts in the policing budget; the Prime Minister is proposing 20% cuts. Her Majesty’s inspectorate of constabulary said that if we go beyond 12%, that is likely to lead to cuts in front-line officers, which is exactly what is happening up and down this country.” You can’t help but thinking that Miliband has more or less won this one. But it’s getting a trifle repetitive.

“The difference between a 12% reduction and what we are proposing is the freeze in police pay and the reform of police allowances, which he refuses to support” said Cameron. Not really a Tory-type policy that, is it? – Freezing police pay and “reforming” their allowances.

I thought Cameron then came back with a riposte which Miliband deserved: “Has anyone seen a more ridiculous spectacle than the right hon. Gentleman marching against the cuts that his Government caused? I know Martin Luther King said he had a dream—I think it is time the right hon. Gentleman woke up.”

Other snippets were:

  • Greg Mulholland (LibDem) asked about the children’s heart unit review.
  • Tenuouslinkwatch: David Amess tried to link Pontius Pilate to Ed Miliband addressing crowds in Hyde Park. But it got a good quality response from Cameron: “Far from standing on the shoulders of the suffragettes, or whatever nonsense we heard at the weekend, the fact is that the Leader of the Opposition is sitting in a great big pool of debt that was his creation, and he has got absolutely no idea what to do about it.”
  • Flashman put down of the week: From Cameron to Chris Williamson (Lab): “I cannot believe that I accused the hon. Gentleman of anything because I had absolutely no idea who he was.”
  • Sir Menzies Campbell (LibDem) raised the legal and political risks of arming rebels in Libya.
  • Even though Ed Balls didn’t say anything worthy of registering in Hansard, he managed to make a spectacle of himself, earning another Flasmanesque put-down: “I may be alone in finding the shadow Chancellor the most annoying person in modern politics.” Temper, temper.
  • Malcolm Bruce (LibDem) asked about investment in North Sea Oil, following the withdraw of £6 billion of funding by Statoil.
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NHS reforms: Cameron is melting – Lansley 'needs to watch his back'

News that should receive a cautious welcome from LibDems, following our conference resolution. George Eaton in the Staggers says that the reforms are slowing, while Alastair Campbell says Lanlsey should watch his back:

… the Prime Minister’s political instincts finally appear to be kicking in, and he is seeking to avert the car crash Lansley has inadvertently caused. A succession of ministers has already learned that the Prime Minister tends to let them get on with it, pays scant attention to detail during policy planning, but then finds he has to step in.
It is becoming harder and harder to find an expert voice or a vested interest (sometimes the two are combined) who thinks the non-mandated reforms will do anything other than real damage to healthcare. Cameron has had his jibe at the BMA as being just another trade union, but beneath the bravado, he is getting worried, and looking to make change.

The Dyson airblade – it blows your socks off while being very green

This is going to sound like a Dyson marketing department press release but I’ll go with it anyway. I’ve been using Dyson airblades increasingly to dry my hands in…er….facilities. They are popping up everywhere. They sort of blow your socks off while drying your hands in about half a nano second. They are the most effective, if not the only really effective, hand driers I have come across.

Putting your hands in one is like putting your hands in the jet stream of a Boeing 747.

So I joked, at first, that each one should have a live screen above them showing the Greenland iceberg melting as you use them – such were the carbon emissions which I imagined them giving off, due to their high power.

But I should not have jested in such a flagrantly unfounded way. I sat down and did a little googling and found that Dyson Airblades are so green that the Carbon Trust has awarded them a Carbon Reduction Label, the first ever given to a hand drier.

So that told me…

Here’s what the Carbon Trust say about the Dyson Airblade:

This commitment to Green Growth through design is exemplified by the Dyson Airblade™, a product the Carbon Trust has come to know well as a result of our product footprinting work with the company. The Dyson Airblade™ is ground-breaking – a design which:

  • Works by blasting a sheet of unheated air at 400 mph, to scrape water from hands in 10 seconds.
  • A small, long-life, low-energy and brushless motor spinning at 1,666 revolutions per second, the Dyson Digital motor produces enough air pressure for the Dyson Airblade™ to dry hands without the need for heat.
  • Doesn’t require a power-hungry heating element to work, unlike conventional hand dryers, making it 80% more energy efficient.
  • Avoids paper towel waste in landfills. 

Dyson approached us to learn and demonstrate how his model was energy efficient to minimise environmental impact, and to get our help to drive its carbon footprint even lower. We provided advice and data analysis using our Footprint Expert™ software. As a result of these efforts, The Dyson Airblade™ hand dryer was certified by the Carbon Trust Footprinting Certification Company; the first ever hand dryer to be awarded the Carbon Reduction Label.

When a witch turns into Macduff

Last night we saw an excellent school production of a scaled-down Macbeth. (I’m not a luvvie so there’ll be no “Scottish play” nonsense from me).

It was an excellent production – flawlessly presented with some inspiring performances. It’s a challenging play but these Year 9 students flawlessly presented their lines.

It was a delight to see a boy playing one of three witches. All of the witches were just dressed in black T shirts and trousers. So, it was a bit weird hearing the boy being referred to as “sister”. But it worked beautifully – trust me.

What was even stranger was that the boy witch then got hold of a sword and starting fighting with Macbeth. That one threw me. Try as I might, I couldn’t recall that one in our Bill’s original script.

Subsequent questioning revealed that the same boy played one of the witches and Macduff, without any costume change.